the imperfection in your silhouette captured my hope. maybe it was your attitude. maybe it was the shape of your manga haircut. or your aquiline nose, or your strawberry lips. i can´t tell. but somehow the mysteries hidden behind two beautifully aching eyes distracted me from my duty. later, it was too late. disappeared in the sea of faces. regrets. the same frustration i've felt more than once. why didn't i tell you how you make me feel? what was i waiting for? am i still shy? or do i fear the eventual need? thanks for reminding me that you exist.
[[spinetta - bagatelle .mp3]]
a thousand princesses she said. not quite. several orders lower, but enough, sometimes too much. feelings? of course! the compass in a foggy night, the flask in a desert. they are the key. well, now i start wondering where have i left my heart?. i should have something for him, but i think he went away to learn how to pronounce the s, the z, and c correctly. i know he is up to something, little fool, so naive, so vital. be gentle, i don't want to be tamed.
[[eurythmics - tainted love.mp3]]]
today i was away for a while. i visited one of my places by reproducing some samples of charge coupled devices. i was captured not by the five dimensional matrix in itself, but by the connections it reactivated. details, raining from my roof. the state of mind i deserve. a confluence of freedom and anxiety fed my draught, but never too much to flood my basement. the tranquility of the scheduled ending, the roundtrip ticket. i want to break the cage and unfold the wings of travel again, but this time i want to forget where i am coming from.
[[eddie brickel - air of december.mp3]]]
una ventanita más chica se instaló sobre mi mesa, y tiene terrible onda, tan terrible la onda que no es terrible, pero como expresa jean le pecq, es bárbara. en realidad es de 2.4GHz y llega al menos hasta mi cuarto, donde se empalma con el tetrapar de de cobre que luego de varias ramificaciones y otras sutilezas técnicas que no vienen al caso, se conecta a "l'interné". escuché en el ónimo eso, "l'interné". debe ser caro eso. y como no podía ser menos, l'interné me trae las emisiones de los dispersos semejantes, entre otros. y a veces los dispersos no están tan dispersos. y menos veces todavía, los dispersos extrañan, y se bajonean, y eso duele. pero no queda otra que mantener la torre en pié y seguir pensando en otras torres, como la del muchacho este, como se dice, Ifel, latorrifel. y quien dice ifel, dice pata sur, dice pont de l'alma, dice djembé, dice que "lo dices de un modo", dice: "... y el muro no se quitaba", dice... ¿quién sabe que dirán este año?. vamos, siga cochero.
[[spinetta - bahia final.mp3]]
hoy me mude a los 530nm. una ventana de 480nm llena de agua que al final parece que va a ser de cristal. una abuso de longitudes de onda. detalles, infidad de detalles con forma de hojas, tallos, flores, plumas,.
(dos palomas se posan en una rama de la tipa y se mecen con el viento, pero es efímero, una de ellas baja a comer, seguida por la otra. ¿cuál será la hembra? :D ). (las pájaras se dan su baño de las cinco a las cinco y media, esta vez de a dos. se ve que hace tiempo que han perdido el miedo.) laburé demasiado ayer, y antes de ayer, y antes de antes de ayer. algunas imágenes al pasar, para recordar la abundancia del espectro. [[spinetta - nombrala.mp3]]
y sigue dando vueltas en mi techo tu colorida escalera caracol de pequeños escalones. tan pequeños que no se notan. tan sutiles que invitan a subir.
slow down, tap, tap, answer. driving my madness at twice the limit i reach out, as predicted. at first, controlled surprise, then, after my convocation, curiosity driven anxiety. felt like a problem solved, a release, a closure. the only thing remaining is the need for a wise choosing of the words to hang in the air between, in the distance about to explode. the last thing i care is reaching the missing you, the one that never came back from where it went, the one i miss.
wondering about your whereabouts. the thought stll makes me nervous.
as expected i start forgetting what you did last year. today, for the first time i think about my attitude. is it because of the proximity of your departure?. i rewind and play my memories again and again but there's something i can't find that makes me doubt. why am i so naive? i wonder where are you now. i can predict my near future. i will do it.