hope is missing. a disruption in my innocence. the veil which covered the facts has been ripped off. the shade that protected my sensitivity is shrinking. the pillow where i carefully deposited my dreams is leaking. a massive onslaught of now impossible paths flows from my sadistic memory. was it all a lie? does it matter? i can only pray to be ignorant again, to forget and return. to be wise and accept the conditions of my hope.